Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
