Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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