turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I came so hard my ears popped.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
