Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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