Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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