felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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