thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
