escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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