Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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