I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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