New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
