2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
