There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
