u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
