You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
