so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
