u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
