im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you win again, gameday.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
