we made out on top of his cat.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
