I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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