Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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