There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
