i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
