Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
