Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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