Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
