I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My ATM looks so different sober.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
