Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
