butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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