he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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