she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
