Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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