In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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