I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
BRING THE BAGELS
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
