Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
