Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
