I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize