the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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