Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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