I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
