Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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