You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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