Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Quick, to the slutcave!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
