So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
