Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
