so let's talk penis.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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