Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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