Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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