I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Me too!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
