East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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