if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We don't watch enough power rangers
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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