if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
