1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
