can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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