I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Your topless pictures make me question reality
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
