is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
only if we run a train.
done.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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