A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
