Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
