exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
