google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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