It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize