They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
