when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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