I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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