do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
