I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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