He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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