I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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